Making a Friend: A Quick Primer for Introverts

Photo by Lukas Rychvalsky: https://www.pexels.com/photo/person-standing-near-lake-670720/

Note: I have used some AI tools for editing this article, The words are mine and so is the story

The world can feel like an overwhelming place, especially for us introverts. The noise, the crowds, the constant demand for social interaction — it can be exhausting. As a child, I thrived in the company of my older brother, my best friend. We were inseparable, two halves of a whole. But when he passed away unexpectedly, I retreated into myself, a shell of the outgoing child I once was.

For years, I navigated the world as an introvert, struggling to connect with my peers, feeling like an outsider in my own life. High school was particularly challenging, a time when social interaction was paramount, and my introverted tendencies made me feel isolated and alone.

But I managed to beat it. Today, I am a technology consultant who regularly speaks in front of large audiences and collaborates with teams across all levels of organizations. The journey from a shy child to a confident public speaker wasn’t easy, but it was transformative. If I can do it, so can you.

Here are a few things I’ve learned along the way that might help you, fellow introverts, navigate the often-turbulent waters of friendship:

1. Embrace your introversion: Don’t try to be someone you’re not. Introversion isn’t a flaw; it’s a personality trait. It comes with its own strengths, like deep thinking, empathy, and the ability to form meaningful connections.
2. Start small: You don’t have to dive headfirst into a crowded party. Begin by striking up conversations with people you encounter in your daily life — the barista at your favorite coffee shop, a colleague you haven’t spoken to before, or the person sitting next to you on the bus.
3. Find your tribe: Seek out groups or communities that share your interests. This could be a book club, a hiking group, a volunteer organization, or an online forum. These shared interests provide a natural starting point for conversations and connections.
4. Be a good listener: Introverts are often excellent listeners. We tend to be more interested in understanding others than talking about ourselves. This can be a valuable asset in building relationships.
5. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable: Sharing your thoughts, feelings, and experiences with others can create a sense of intimacy and trust. It can also help you feel less alone.
6. Take breaks: Socializing can be draining for introverts. It’s okay to take time for yourself to recharge. Step outside for some fresh air, read a book, or simply enjoy the quiet of your own company.
7. Be patient: Making friends takes time and effort. Don’t get discouraged if you don’t click with everyone you meet. Keep putting yourself out there, and eventually, you’ll find people who appreciate you for who you are.

Friendship is a two-way street. It requires effort, vulnerability, and a willingness to step outside of your comfort zone. But the rewards are immeasurable. Friendships enrich our lives, provide support during challenging times, and celebrate our successes with us.

The other day, My Son, who had heard me speaking about how difficult it was for me to strike up a conversation with other parents in his class, walked over to me and asked

“Dad, are you still finding it difficult to talk to other parents?”

I smiled and replied “Yes” and He gave me a hug saying “It’s Okay Dad, just keep trying”

I promised him I would.

I still AM an introvert, and my journey continues as I strive to overcome my own social anxieties. But I can attest to the transformative power of friendship. It’s a journey worth taking, one small step at a time.